AntiAmba

Hear the call for prayer Feel a force descending The call for change Day to day Are you ready to believe? Are you ready to sell yourself? Are you ready to dream? Are you ready to endure? A storm is coming

Feel the insomnia, feel the dizziness; Feel the time, feel the heat of the wind; Saw the wheel turning and the dice rolling; Feel the vice, smell the weed, walked with my shoes tainted with liquor; Talked with the whores, the junkies and the misfits; Face the time, feel the disconnection; Feel the wonder, feel the desire, feel the lust; I am just traveling to make the world go round and around.

“The man who wants to write a great book paint a great picture create an architectural masterpiece become a great scientist and knows that never in all eternity will he be able to realize this, his innermost desire, can find no peace in a stable social order - old or new. He sees the world perpetually out of joint. He feels at home only in a state of chaos.” Eric Hoffer - The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements    I believe not many people have failed through life exactly the way I did. I am always living life in perpetual chaos, anxiety and disorder,  creating nonlinear connections between themes, concepts and ideas.  This is where inspiration comes from and make to achieve the impossible. Most of the people I know like to continue to live their ordered life and do not understand the meaning of these words. They never will.

Miss Sloane is a movie picture that tells the story of a woman that work for lobbies in the U.S.A. Her professional life immerses her on a spiral of demanding tasks that erases completely her personal life. She does not have time to feel that she is alone. She does not have time at all. She suffers from sleep deprivation and relies duting the day on pills to make the world go round. Perpetual professional  duties isolates her from doing simple things like do some scrambled eggs and a salad. Despite she is afluent, she eats at a shabby greasy dinner directly from the paper buckets. As a member of a shared economy,  she also shares male prostitutes. She is only interested in selfish pleasure and be breathless for some time in order that she senses that it still can feel. She falls in love by the only prostitute that is introduced in the script, called Ford, his real name, that she does not even believe once we are vested in alias and multiple nick names. As duties are stron...

As I put down on the table Kant's Critique of Judgement, the dialogue propelled at the coffee shop on a table next to me.     - What are you thinking?     - I am thinking about us.     - Why you told me I was a lie? (challenging)     - Because you are precious to me. (bitter)     - Do you believe me?     - I don't know.     - Why you are so statuesque?     - Because you put some holes in my chest.     - Why you are so possessive? Go fuck yourself!     - Your life was poured into my mouth.     - My poison was spread across your back. The waitress arrives and bends in a way I tell her to stand-up, she must show some self-respect. I ask for the bill.     - Why we just don't walk way? (touches gently the forearm, eager)     - And if is terrible? We will hate each other. I will lose ...

At a restaurant, waiting for K, while I was searching for too much information on the phone, a couple sit next to me. They barely talk and their eyes wonder to the decor. I put the phone and took a sip in the entry-level white wine. I look discretely to the lonely couple. I try to image what they are thinking, staring with contempt. We discover. We caress. We touch. We fuck, we come. We loved. We cared. We work. We fought. We forgive. We fuck. We work. We fought. We work. We work. We work. We cheated. We work. We cheated. We cheated. We cheated. We quit. K arrives. The waitress, dressed like a pin-up escorts K to the table where I sit.While am being suffocated by work issues, I interrupted her and tell: - Have you took a peek to these ones, sitting next to us? - With the energy we are creating, it is becoming a form of social relationship harassment. They feel intimidated, she told. I have been trough it before. I tried to reverse the situation, but I did not...

A thousand plateaus: capitalism and schizophrenia, by Deleuze and Guattary was not published this year, hence, it would never appear in any best book of the year list. A challenging read. Therese Krumbholz, the dumb housekeeper of Elias Canetti Nobel prize award wining novel, Auto-da-Fé, needed to read twice or three times the same page of Peter Kien's infinite book collection to understand the meaning of it. In this case you do not need to repeat the reading. Most of times you will understand the reading if you have a life story that reveals your experience across the authors narrative style and how it connects to the concepts they wrote. It is a book that followed my world drifts, my inner reflections. That exposes your ignorance, that lets I see right through you. More than the technical interpretation , makes you ignore listening to the order, exposes how ridiculous you are when you already lost your privacy, how you lost your reasoning, when the state, the machine, contr...