10-06-2016 - Lagos, Nigeria

On my way to the airport headed to Kasptad, ZA.

"[... that loneliness can derive from the conviction that there is no person or group to which on belongs. This not belonging can be seen to have a much deeper meaning. However much integration proceeds, it cannot do away with the feeling that certain components of the self are not available because they are split off and cannot be regained. Some of these split-off parts [...] are projected into other people, contributing to the feeling that one is not full possession of one's self, that one does not fully belong to oneself or, therefore, to anybody else. The lost parts too, are felt to be lonely."

Melanie Klein - On the sense of Loneliness - Paper, 1963

Nigerian society is shaped by an immense gap in inequality that defines who you are and the position you hold based on the quantity and quality of your assets. Women still largely depend on the income that the husband can bring to the household. Hence, for the wife's it is very important that there is a predefined living standard that keeps increasing as time moves forward. A woman does not tolerate that such standard erases or it does not allow her to take care of their children properly.

Nigerian economy is driven by oil price. When the price hikes, the economy flourishes, but when it goes down to the pit, everybody, except the affluent are deeply hurt. My driver told me that his wife took the children and disappeared. He lost contact since then. According to the way the society is organized in that circumstance, the brother in law, can assume the position of the father. Like in Klein's essay, loneliness, breaks and are projected to other people.


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