AntiAmba

  I do not care about you. I do not want your love. I touch my screen. I have all I ever need. Do not turn off, do not dim. Look at me. Kijk naar mij I turn my screen on Zet hem aan Look at me, look at me. Kijk naar het

  During summer holidays in North Hemisphere, I dive in ethereal sounds that fill the room I spend time reading. It morphed into my collective memories. Here are some curated selections during the last 4 years. Sarah Davachi & Sean McCann - Lamplighter  - 2022 The caretaker - It's just a burning memory  - 2021 Pan american - The cloud room  - 2020 Enrico Coniglio & Matteo Uggeri - Open to the sea  - 2019 Support the artists direct via  https://bandcamp.com/

  Orchard Road - Singapore - a day under hard lockdown I made a whole in the ground And swept away the contamination dust … swept away! wash away! Light comes off the day Hear many people shouting, running about … ah! ah! ah! I need to run Watch new universes … the mirror people do not want to know

Buenos Aires - Argentina - before the time in confinement There is a place where I rest Crowed by trees Where curtains of rain Raise shadows of fear There is nowhere to go to You could not reach me even if you wanted to In this small plot of land, where strangers live wearing it out How much time do I have? To reverse the growing roots Soon I will be in the light Run to the ocean To always I have been

The tragedy of the commons In deep denial Where fear grows Forced confinement Populism, defetead In favor of a stronghold A sense of belonging Where lies do not become the truth

"Viaggiare é proprio utile, fa lavorare I'immaginazione Tutto il resto è delusione e fatica" Journey to the End of the Night Louis-Ferdinand Céline Abbraccerò solo quello che voglio fare

When you feel your life running away You keep walking And you reach to land you told do not want touch again To wonder a familiar landscape To some close memory And that place where you use to live That fades and wash away You shovel that deception and blurred conversations You travel along the road In the search of the missing destiny You reach to a stripped bedroom Where the atmosphere and the odor resembles On the concrete jungle arrival You are tortured by thoughts Don't you want to be free? Don't you want to set yourself to be free?

" When you wake up in the morning, tell your self: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own-not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. […] To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions. " Marcus Aurelius - Meditations There was a time that I thought I was punished and everything was taken from me. It took a time, too much time, while to realize that I need to reborn and learn how to get back what I thought it was lost. It has always been there, I just need to deserve it instead of owning it.

Langebaan - Saldanha Bay - iRiphabliki yomZantsi Afrika En Juin, pendant trois jours dans un hôtel `a Fort Lauredale sur la plage, j'ai été exposé à une des idées le plus importantes, que je suis devenu conseiller de dirigeants d'entreprise. Je dois désapprendre Il y a une periode où après savoir tout, il faut désapprendre. C'est ce qui se passe avec l'activité de conseiller. J'ai eu l'idée que nous devons évoluer. Faire évoluer les idées, mettre fin, aux préjugés. Moi, un ingénieur devenu architecte, j'apprends à désapprendre. Et pourquoi, comment désapprendre ? Dans ses vertes années, le cœur de l'architecte semble être celui de l'originalité. Être original, c'est différent. Et les gens aiment les premières pirouettes qu’un gars fait. Et le gars aime que les gens le voient comme un champion; une étoile. Attention, viennent les recettes, les idées toutes faites, les transpositions des études de marché, les clichés, ou, plus amèrement, l...

Fort Lauredale En Juin, pendant trois jours dans un hôtel `a Fort Lauredale sur la plage, j'ai été exposé à des idées plus importantes depuis que je suis devenu conseiller de dirigeants d'entreprise. Je dois désapprendre Il y a un moment où après savoir tout, il faut désapprendre. C'est ce qui se passe avec l'activité de conseiller. J'ai eu l'idée que nous devions évoluer. Faire évoluer les idées, mettre fin, quitter les préjugés. Moi, probablement un ingénieur devenu architecte, j'apprends à désapprendre. Et pourquoi, comment désappris? Dans la verdure de ses années, le cœur de l'architecte semble être celui de l'originalité. Être original, c'est se montrer différent. Et les gens aiment les premières pirouettes qu’un gars donne. Et le gars aime que les gens le voient comme un talent; une étoile. Attention, viennent les recettes, les idées faites, les transpositions des études de marché, les clichés, ou, plus amèrement, les lieux com...

No Instagram. No Lomography. No Photoshop.

Don't you want the plain truth? Worry not about what is right and wrong. Such kind of dilemma. Induces conflict. Do not correct what you see and feel. Correction transform into a disease of your mind. You are taken to distort the reality .

I departed from Cape Town to Singapore on 10th May 2018. It has been close to 4 years living in a outpost which I hang my shirts and do the laundry time to time. The last memory I have about the departure, apart of filling my existence in another set of 4 extra large suitcases and felling my life running away, was the maintenance crew coming to my apartment and apply water restrictors on the taps. Cape Town was running out of water. "Day Zero" as it was coined, was coming - somewhere in the middle of June - the day which water will not run anymore out of the taps. The effect of total water consumption was the result of poor public policy management. A perfect storm of a combination of population increase due to the fact of incoming migrants from wrecked cities like Johannesburg and Durban poised with crime and terror, the deviation of water to farms and agriculture and bellow that half of average of rainfall for 3 consecutive years. It is, literally a black swan that coul...

Hear the call for prayer Feel a force descending The call for change Day to day Are you ready to believe? Are you ready to sell yourself? Are you ready to dream? Are you ready to endure? A storm is coming

Feel the insomnia, feel the dizziness; Feel the time, feel the heat of the wind; Saw the wheel turning and the dice rolling; Feel the vice, smell the weed, walked with my shoes tainted with liquor; Talked with the whores, the junkies and the misfits; Face the time, feel the disconnection; Feel the wonder, feel the desire, feel the lust; I am just traveling to make the world go round and around.

“The man who wants to write a great book paint a great picture create an architectural masterpiece become a great scientist and knows that never in all eternity will he be able to realize this, his innermost desire, can find no peace in a stable social order - old or new. He sees the world perpetually out of joint. He feels at home only in a state of chaos.” Eric Hoffer - The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements    I believe not many people have failed through life exactly the way I did. I am always living life in perpetual chaos, anxiety and disorder,  creating nonlinear connections between themes, concepts and ideas.  This is where inspiration comes from and make to achieve the impossible. Most of the people I know like to continue to live their ordered life and do not understand the meaning of these words. They never will.

Miss Sloane is a movie picture that tells the story of a woman that work for lobbies in the U.S.A. Her professional life immerses her on a spiral of demanding tasks that erases completely her personal life. She does not have time to feel that she is alone. She does not have time at all. She suffers from sleep deprivation and relies duting the day on pills to make the world go round. Perpetual professional  duties isolates her from doing simple things like do some scrambled eggs and a salad. Despite she is afluent, she eats at a shabby greasy dinner directly from the paper buckets. As a member of a shared economy,  she also shares male prostitutes. She is only interested in selfish pleasure and be breathless for some time in order that she senses that it still can feel. She falls in love by the only prostitute that is introduced in the script, called Ford, his real name, that she does not even believe once we are vested in alias and multiple nick names. As duties are stron...

As I put down on the table Kant's Critique of Judgement, the dialogue propelled at the coffee shop on a table next to me.     - What are you thinking?     - I am thinking about us.     - Why you told me I was a lie? (challenging)     - Because you are precious to me. (bitter)     - Do you believe me?     - I don't know.     - Why you are so statuesque?     - Because you put some holes in my chest.     - Why you are so possessive? Go fuck yourself!     - Your life was poured into my mouth.     - My poison was spread across your back. The waitress arrives and bends in a way I tell her to stand-up, she must show some self-respect. I ask for the bill.     - Why we just don't walk way? (touches gently the forearm, eager)     - And if is terrible? We will hate each other. I will lose ...

At a restaurant, waiting for K, while I was searching for too much information on the phone, a couple sit next to me. They barely talk and their eyes wonder to the decor. I put the phone and took a sip in the entry-level white wine. I look discretely to the lonely couple. I try to image what they are thinking, staring with contempt. We discover. We caress. We touch. We fuck, we come. We loved. We cared. We work. We fought. We forgive. We fuck. We work. We fought. We work. We work. We work. We cheated. We work. We cheated. We cheated. We cheated. We quit. K arrives. The waitress, dressed like a pin-up escorts K to the table where I sit.While am being suffocated by work issues, I interrupted her and tell: - Have you took a peek to these ones, sitting next to us? - With the energy we are creating, it is becoming a form of social relationship harassment. They feel intimidated, she told. I have been trough it before. I tried to reverse the situation, but I did not...

A thousand plateaus: capitalism and schizophrenia, by Deleuze and Guattary was not published this year, hence, it would never appear in any best book of the year list. A challenging read. Therese Krumbholz, the dumb housekeeper of Elias Canetti Nobel prize award wining novel, Auto-da-Fé, needed to read twice or three times the same page of Peter Kien's infinite book collection to understand the meaning of it. In this case you do not need to repeat the reading. Most of times you will understand the reading if you have a life story that reveals your experience across the authors narrative style and how it connects to the concepts they wrote. It is a book that followed my world drifts, my inner reflections. That exposes your ignorance, that lets I see right through you. More than the technical interpretation , makes you ignore listening to the order, exposes how ridiculous you are when you already lost your privacy, how you lost your reasoning, when the state, the machine, contr...